Ahhh, yeah, the heat, the bubbles, a little music, the paradox of having a face frozen by the icy mist, having icicles in my hair, while my body is pummeled by 105 degree water jets, its me, the soupe du jour.
However, last night, after my routine of calisthenics and jogging on the treadmill while watching a movie, this time Diary of the Dead (zombies instill fear creating faster running), things were DIFFERENT. And I just now realized there is a parallel with life and the commitments we make that are just not good.
Before we commit to something, we give it X amount of thought, balance pros and cons, blah blah the usual, then we get involved. Last night there I was opening the hot tub, stuffing a cd in the player, all while in damp trunks and a blistering icy mist assailed me, and I was like, yehaa, I am Gundar of the Cave, I am primal, elemental, and presently I shall banish this cold draught with the pleasures of the hot tub. Nay, fate smote me again, for when my snow caked feet, and then the rest of me, chilled, but not shaken, splashed tubward I instantly found... the temperaturew was wrong.
What? I'm not boiling? I'm not going to be soup today? Not at 86 degrees. Ok, it was warm. But not what I had expected. Yet I stayed in for the full fifteen minutes. I listened to music, felt the jets, but I got colder and colder, and my hair and face froze.
If you get into something that you discover isn't working out, how long before you say enough's enough, and how could you be blamed? I knew the moment my feet hit the water that it was going to be a big let down. I had to have a scalding shower just to get back my skin's confidence in my ability to reason.
I say trust what your skin is telling you. Fuck all this give it time, all this being reasonable is shite. Are we on this earth to sit around like knobs just putting up with shit? Time and again when I have known in my gut that something wasn't right, it turns out I wasn't wrong, except I should have gotten out of it sooner. Just like that lukeskywalker water.
Tired of your gut screaming : Why didn't you listen to me?
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